HEADBANGERS' BAWL
Sep 1, 2005 12:00 PM, The Remix Editors, Robert Hanson Erin Hutton Kylee Swenson
Seriously, what is it about our terrible, wonderful brains that causes us to make things so difficult for ourselves all the time? You would think that our minds would be our biggest defenders — you know, always have our backs, encourage our successes and support our dreams. I, Erin, would even go so far as to say that our inner selves should be even more forgiving than our parents (who pretty much lovingly pardon all of our shortcomings, God bless them). Often, however, that is not the case. You could have the highest self-esteem in the world, but that doesn't mean the old gourd is going to make it any easier on you or bolster your courage at times when you most need it.
You know how it is: You speak your mind about something, and you're kicking yourself for the next week for being too mouthy. You overdraw your checking account, and you're forever cursing your lack of money-management skills. Worse yet, you finally find someone who gives you a bit of a tingle, but you determine that the relationship would never work before even giving it a shot. And in terms of your art, how many of you have been working for untold amounts of time but still think that your music isn't good enough for public consumption? Or how many of you have the music down but don't believe your act is good enough for the stage? I'm willing to bet quite a few.
For some reason, we're hard-wired to cut ourselves short, to second-guess our instincts. But music is who you are — it's as much a part of you as that mind that often refuses to let you succeed. So given that you can't live without either one, you're going to have to come up with a solution that allows ambition to reside alongside self-doubt. Start slow. If the thought of sharing your music with others makes you break into a cold sweat, start by playing a few tracks for your best friend or even your parents (to repeat, they've got that whole unconditional thing going). Or you could go the completely impartial route and post a track online. If playing live is your demon, try busking or playing a house party, whatever it takes to get over that initial hump.
Still scared? Well, why don't you just slap on a mask and give yourself an alter ego to represent and promote your music for you? It seems to be working just fine for this month's cover artists, producer Danger Mouse and rap recluse MF Doom. Each of these characters has crafted a unique persona that both identifies them publicly and shields them personally. Would we like to see their faces? You freakin' bet. But that's not the deal they're offering right now, and that's okay. It doesn't detract from the quality of their music. It might even give it an added level of mystique (which is perhaps what they're banking on).
Regardless of which avenue you choose — and we editors have said this a million and two times — everybody is not going to love what you do. And no costume, mask or clever pseudonym is going to make criticism any easier. But learning to accept opinions of your music and then use those ideas to improve it is an integral part of your artistic growth. So turn your off brain for a second, and find the courage to get your music heard and your act seen. Otherwise, what is any of this even for?
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